Night of Firsts

Today was the first time I...

attended Thaipusam
talked to so many Indians
saw Indians fight
huddled in fear of getting bashed up
had an Indian shouting into my ear
saw someone using a chopper to cut a chain of jasmine flowers
walked barefoot for 4km
stayed out past 3am
took the nightrider bus

It was a fantastic experience. Now its 4+ am and I'm STARVING ):

Will post photos soon ((:

Some things..

..are better left unheard.

I just heard through the window, a young boy yelling 'fuck you la'. After moving to this neighbourhood near Jurong Point (agh) where the echoing is just great, I've been hearing plenty of obscenities and vulgarities. But its quite disappointing to hear an unbroken voice shouting such words. He's not even been through puberty!

What's Singapore coming to? Or the younger generation, for that matter?

Pirate Latitudes Movie!

There will be a movie based on Michael Crichton's Pirate Latitudes, published posthumously.

Steven Spielberg, who has collaborated with Crichton on movies such as Jurassic Park, is keen on directing a pirate film, and whose novel better to choose than Crichton's! (: I'm really excited to chance upon this tidbit after finishing the book, which was extremely thrilling (and somehow disgusted me on that time period). Looking forward to watching the movie!

Do read it if you like novels on pirates!

Couples

On the walk home, I noticed two couples, for they were very different in all possible ways.

One couple was from China; they both had the same short hairstyle, dorky centre parting and dorky dressing. They were about 40ish and looked married.

The other was a young Singaporean couple about my age. Dressed typically like teenagers, toned and lean in their tees and shorts. Most prolly dating.

Yet, the China couple which I assume has been together for many years, was happily holding hands all the way home in their dorkiness. They reminded me of couples which progress into old age still basking in their love for each other.

The Singaporean couple, on the other hand, was in a pretty sad state. The girl kept walking extremely close to the guy. Kept trying to grab his hand. Held his hand once, and he'd swing it away. Tried holding his arm, he'd fling it in the air immediately in some gesture. He didn't even bother trying to hold her hand at all! How one-sided. Honestly, I think their relationship is so in the dumps.

I'd much rather be part of a happy dorky couple than date a fit young guy who is more engrossed in himself than the other party. Sigh. I don't even know what's the moral of the story here.

But I need to solve that fungus in my Epson scanner problem asap.

Moist Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

Today, I baked these awesome things next to PiyoPiyo (: I say their awesome, cos their the first cookies I've baked which I've actually liked! And ate five or six of. Or maybe even more but my brain is in denial.

The best part - the dough tastes like that of Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk! My FAVOURITE absolute favourite ice cream flavour ever. Which is unfortunately, not found in Singapore anymore (or if you know where they can be found, give me a heads up!) They also do not require any greasing of cookie sheets. Or non-stick cookie sheets. Or parchment paper! (:



These babies are crisp on the outside, and chewy on the inside!! So for the first time ever, I'm gonna share a recipe which I would prefer to have kept a secret (haha)

Photo of that awesome cookie dough first (: So tempting and almost better than the cookie itself. And oh well, I've made some healthier changes to convince myself the calories are worth it (:

Jessica's Moist Oatmeal Raisin Cookies (:

Ingredients
1 cup all-purpose flour (can be substituted with wholemeal)
1 cup wholemeal flour
2 cups oatmeal
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp ground cinnamon

1 cup filled with white sugar and molasses sugar (can substitute white with light brown sugar)
¾ cup butter
2 eggs
5 tbsps honey
2 tsp vanilla extract
½ cup raisins (optional, or add as much as you want)

Instructions
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In a large bowl, stir dry ingredients together – flour, oatmeal, baking powder, baking soda, salt and cinnamon.
3. In a larger bowl, cream sugar (white and molasses combined) and butter together. Then, beat the eggs, honey and vanilla extract together. Add into creamed mixture. Mix well.
4. Add in dry ingredients slowly, mixing after each addition. Subsequently add in raisins.
5. Drop onto ungreased cookie tray in heaped teaspoonfuls.
6. Bake for 10 minutes (soft and chewy) to 12 minutes (if you like 'em crispy) or until slightly brown. Cool cookies on baking sheet for 5 minutes before cooling completely on a wire rack.

Makes about 50 cookies. Hope you like it! (:

Oh, and here are some tips, for making cookies the way you like it:

Chewy Cookies
Use melted butter instead of creaming cold butter.
Remove cookies when they look slightly underdone.
Use a high ratio of brown sugar to white sugar, or substitue a little liquid sweetener such as honey, molasses, or corn syrup for the same amount of sugar.
Use more egg yolk instead of whole eggs.
Reduce the amount of baking soda or baking powder. These are leaveners which lend the cookie a more cakey texture.

Thin, Crispy Cookies
Use butter as the main fat. It has a lower melting point than shortening, so the cookie will spread out thinner.
Use more white sugar than brown sugar. You could just use all white sugar.
Bake cookies until well done.

Puffy, Cakey Cookies
Use shortening instead of butter.
Make sure that you mix the shortening well with the sugars until it is very light and fluffy.
Use cake flour instead of all-purpose flour.
Use more egg.
Use baking powder instead of baking soda for leavening. It makes the cookie puff up more.

(PS creaming the butter and sugar by hand is so much more fun, and lets you burn off some calories so you get to eat more cookies later)

No Longer

Today, I realised my profile wrote: proud owner of five hamsters... etc.

Then I removed Billy and Fatter from the list. And I realised I took away 'proud'.

Now its just:
Owner of three skinny syrian hamsters: one who has seizures, one who bit her very hard, and a hairy baby unrelated to the two brothers.

I'm no longer a proud owner of hamsters. I don't have a real bond with any of them... it's always been Billy only.

Cappu is always sleeping - and we don't have mutual trust. I fear him chomping me when he starts sniffing me intensely with his nose pressed to my skin like a vacuum cleaner sucks up dirt. His eyes start bulging and look crazed when he becomes a vacuum cleaner, which doesn't help either. And fears me too, runs (literally) and hides in his bedding when he sees humans coming, most of the time.

Cow bit me so hard, stuff that shouldn't have came out was coming out, end of story.

Little one is just an outsider still. He'll never be part of the family - the parents (both gone) or the children (two left).

I guess I'll have to try.

Billy's Gone

I feel empty.

I wonder if I should have gone for dinner.

I saw him breathing heavily before I left. I was sitting beside his cage. The towel still around my wet hair. The family called me for dinner. I knew he wasn't going to last long. Call it a premonition? But I went for dinner. I couldn't cheat death anyway.

When I came back, he was still in the same position. Hidden under tissues. I can't remember if he was breathing anymore, maybe I couldn't see under the tissue.

But now he isn't. I stuck a carrot at his nose. My sister touched him. I stared blankly. Understanding. There was a lack of movement. None of his heavy breathing. I felt him, so skinny at his death. Skin and bones. He had been having a lot of diarrhoea lately. But I didn't want him to see the vet, all the prodding would have made him more unhappy.

I remember my dad taking him out again today
against my wishes
He climbed up the Daiso, they said.
I was in the hall.
He had been falling every time
so it was a success
they let him run on the floor
he fell
twice
it hurt
to see
so we would always
put him back against his wishes
but into his foodbowl
where his hamster senses would get
the better of him
and his hunger urge would take over.

I miss him.
My camel
who thought he could go without water
for weeks
and we had to
stuff him with apples
so he would have water.
My hamster who would
walk on two legs around the tank
respond to his name
before he became deaf
walk down my hand
like it was a tightrope
and no other hamsters dared to
cos he was the bravest.
He was the smartest
too
knew his way
around both our houses
and Miak's too
He was so nosy
loved to visit the others
and when they didnt wake up
he'd climb on top
to disturb them.
How he'd rattle his bottle
everytime he wanted out.
Perching on his Daiso cube
immediately after
in hopes of
walking around the house.
And how sometimes I would just
take out his bottle
and then he wouldn't be able to rattle
instead just pout in a corner.
Now I wonder about the times I missed out
although I did spend the most time with him.
He was my dearest.
Like no other.
No one can replace him.
The licker of hands.
The one who would come around and smell us humans
before happily trotting off again.
How he loved freedom.
How little he got near his death.
He couldn't control his bowels
My mom screamed that we couldn't let him out.
He ended up spending his last month or so at home.
How he must have hated that.
And how weak he got.
The bottle of pills which bashed him. I shortened his life. The fridge. The pills. My dad's pills.

Goodbye Billy.
You were always my Silly.

I will miss you. I already do.

I've been preparing to lose you for so long. Yet it still hurts so much when you're gone.

):

And I really only have two good shots of him, although he is, was, and always will be my favourite.

Old Photos

Bring back memories.

My days at SPH:

Much fun revolved at lunchtime. I fondly remember the malay stall uncle shouting 'Member! I know what you want, member!'

I miss his food. And I miss the fattening avocado milkshakes.

Here's PSAQ, during one of the few lunches when she ate with Z and I.



Outside at the garden, happy girls during lunchbreak (:



There were some pretty good times at SPH, I'll admit. Some of the BT people were especially warm and friendly.



When I see this photo, I immediately remember what Shyam says... Don't ever crop off limbs (: But its still a rather nice shot, thanks Z.



My hippo, perpetually present in my life (:



Its of equal importance to me as Billy. I can live without it for a few nights, but then will sorely start missing. I hope Billy recovers well from his shock today... I don't know what I would do if I lost Billy so early ): I guess sometimes even preparing the heart for such matters won't help.

And the Sundays when I used to go shooting with YS.



If not, cycling. It just seems like a hazy memory now.



We would always stop at this sandbar... along the way from Changi to East Coast.



I've always wanted to take a slippers with sea shot. With some footprints fading off into the sea. Because it always represented nostalgia for me. Unfortunately, I couldn't make any footprints form that day. And I've lost my slippers. Now I'm losing my friend. Perhaps, sometimes, prolonging friendships when their suffering is not meant to be.

Its time to let go.